


Girls' Volleyball

by Waters



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Character, F/M, Lesbian Character, M/M, Multi, Pining, Slow Build, Trans Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 19:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4192680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waters/pseuds/Waters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata decides he's going to teach Natsu to play volleyball so she can beat Takeru, Oikawa's nephew. Kageyama is happy to help.Tired of being alone, Kageyama wants to make friends and sort out what exactly it is Kageyama feels toward HInata.<br/>However, coaching Natsu has unforeseen consequences for Kageyama, who is forced to learn and really think about what it means to be a girl and what it means to love something or someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ribbons

**Author's Note:**

> So I decided that pronoun wise I'm going to use whichever pronouns a given character would use at a given time. If someone is genderfluid, that will be whatever pronoun they feel comfortable with that day. Conversely, if one character identifies as a guy for most of the fic then later identifies as a girl, the pronoun use will switch with the identity change. I think that's the most straightforward way to do it.
> 
> If you have any questions or feedback you can ask me here! Or on my tumblr http://stories-n-things.tumblr.com/

This wasn’t the first time Kageyama had worn a skirt. As he tossed the ball to Hinata, also in the girl’s uniform, Kageyama thought wearing a skirt really wasn’t such a big deal. For Gender Exchange Day, everyone had switched uniforms and they had had to sit through assembly after assembly on sexism and gender equality and something about transgender awareness. Kageyama hadn’t been paying attention. Mostly, he’d just slept.

“You know,” Hinata said. He spiked the ball instead of receiving it and Kageyame frowned as he tossed another. “I was thinking about Natsu. You remember what that lady said? About women being discouraged in sports? Well, you remember the Grand King’s nephew?”

“Takeru.” Kageyame said. Kageyama remembered being seven and playing dress up with his cousin. She had wanted to play princesses and host some kind of princess fight, but he had just wanted to play volleyball.

_You can’t play volleyball in a skirt Tobio!_

In a way, Kageyama felt oddly vindicated.

“I was thinking I should help coach Natsu like that. If the Grand King can do it, I can to.”

“What are you supposed to teach her? You can’t even receive dumbass,” Kageyama set the ball too high, making Hinata fumble the receive and prove Kageyama point. Hinata sighed and scratched his thigh under the skirt. It looked a little obscene, but Kageyama wasn’t sure he shouldhave noticed it anyway.

“Well you could help. And then we could challenge the Grand King’s nephew! And Natsu will beat him!” There was fire in Hinata’s eyes now and Kageyama let himself grin, just a little. He didn’t do it a lot, since people had told him his smile was scary, but now and then he supposed it didn’t matter. His skirt swayed in the breeze and this time, when he tossed to Hinata, Hinata received it perfectly and tossed him something back. Kageyama dove to receive, knee pads sliding on the grass. He was sure his skirt flew up, and if there were people behind him, they could probably see his boxers. He didn’t care.

“Where would we practice?” Kageyama asked. There was a gymnasium where he lived, but there was also a good chance Oikawa would be there.

“I’ll think of something.” Hinata said and then he didn’t say anything else about it for the rest of the day. Kageyama went home. He knew he was supposed to return the girl’s uniform, but he didn’t.

Instead, he lied down on his bed, in the uniform skirt and his undershirt, and played with the bow red ribbon. His mom had helped him tie the bow this morning, but now Kageyama practiced tying and retying it. He thought about Noriko, his cousin. She played baseball, or she used to. She would probably know something about what it was like to play girls sports and if Hinata and Kageyama decided they really were going to train Natsu, Kageyama should probably ask her.

His mom wasn’t going to be home any time soon. Kageyama didn’t know what a senior derivatives analyst did, but he knew it took a long time. He wasn’t mad at her, she worked hard to provide for them, but sometimes, when Kageyama was all alone in the house, with something on his mind that wouldn’t come to fruition, sometimes he wished she was here.

Kageyama didn’t remember falling asleep, but he woke up the next morning with the red ribbon tangled between his fingers, stilling wearing a skirt.

 

 

Kageyama was the first one at practice besides Yachi and Shimizu who were sitting on the bleachers, talking and waiting.

“Was it hard?” Yachi asked Shimizu. “Wearing the boys’ uniform? Were you worried people would misgender you?” Yachi asked. She swung her legs as she looked at Shimizu. Kageyama didn’t know what they were talking about. But he saw Shimizu shake her head. Her eyes seemed far away, but maybe Kageyama was wrong. He wasn’t good with this sort of thing.

Yachi spotted him and waved him over. “How did you like wearing a skirt? The pants were freeing like…like normal pants! Except in school…” Yachi furrowed her brow and tried to rework her analogy. Kageyama knew, on some level, that he should say he hated it. A lot of guys complained about it yesterday. Hinata hadn’t. Hinata had said it wasn’t so different from wearing a yutaka and that the whole point of Gender Exchange Day was to learn, not to _complain_.

“I didn’t care. Clothes are…” Kageyama shrugged. “They didn’t stop be form playing volleyball.” Yachi nodded and grinned. She looked at Kageyama for a moment, and then looked at Shimizu. Kageyama felt too big standing there, too awkward. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say, he wasn’t any good at guy talk, let alone girl talk.

“That’s very honest of you.” Shimizu said. She smiled. Kageyama had seen most of the volleyball team faint over that smile, and while it was nice, he didn’t understand why. Shimizu was beautiful, and kind and her smile reminded him a little bit of a calm water, perfect in its elegance. But it was just a smile. And a skirt was just a skirt. Kageyama shrugged.

“I’m…” Yachi paused for a moment.

“Did you ever want to play volleyball?” Kageyama asked suddenly.

“Hmm? I don’t really know anything about it.” Yachi scratched her neck. “I think it’d embarrass myself, and I’m so short…” Yachi pouted, but then laughed.

“I—but before, when you were a kid? You never played sports?”

“I don’t know. If I had friends who were playing I usually played, but then I guess, over time, I had less friends who did, most of my friends just study and shop, except you guys, but that’s why I like hanging out with you, it’s different.” Yachi smiled and continued on about her different friends. Kageyama tried to listen and remember.

“You can come with us, if you want. Shopping.” Yachi said. She nudged Kageyama in the side. There was something he wasn’t understanding.

“Okay.” He said. Yachi blinked for a moment, like she had expected him to disagree. “I need new pants.” Kageyama shrugged. He didn’t really need new pants. He just hated most of the one he had. Kageyama didn’t know why, all he knew was that every time he wore them and looked at them in the mirror he hated them.

Yachi smiled and assured him that she did want him to come. “It’s just, it was going to be a ‘girls night’ it’s…they’ll be fine with it, but I don’t want you to feel awkward.”

Kageyama thought of all the presentations he had slept through yesterday. Someone else finally arrived in the gym, complaining that the vice principal had stopped them, demanding to know if they knew why one of the girl’s uniforms was missing from yesterday’s uniform swap. Apparently, the vice principal suspected that someone had stole it out of the storage room, which was close by the volleyball change rooms.

“That’s weird.” Kageyama said. And then he focused on volleyball and started practice.

 

 

Hinata brought up Natsu again while they were walking home. “So I asked Natsu yesterday if she wanted to learn how to play volleyball and she said yes! If you could come over this week I think we could take her to the park by my house and teach her the basics.”

Kageyama nodded. “Ask her if she wants to bring her friends.” He looked at Hinata briefly. “She-She’s not going to be very good right off the bat right? She should have friends—a team, to practice with.”

“That’s actually a good idea.”

“Don’t act surprised dumbass!”

“I just wasn’t sure you wanted to help me!” Hinata laughed as he walked beside his bike. His laughter was too loud in the night, but it was perfect. Kageyama wished he could laugh like that. When he laughed people usually backed away slowly. Something fluttered in Kageyama’s gut as he looked on at Hinata.

“I like volleyball, and Natsu’s nice.” Kageyama shrugged.

“You don’t seem like you like children.”

“I like children.” Kageyama said. They just didn’t usually like him. They were like animals that way. His mom used to say it was because he was just big and didn’t show his emotions well. When he was a kid he’d gotten along better with animals. His dad had even taken him to the zoo once before the divorce.

“So it’s settled. This Sunday, come to my house.” Hinata and Kageyama had arrived at the cross roads were they usually parted. Hinata hopped on his bike and sped off, waving and smiling. Kageyama didn’t know why his heart was beating harder in his chest. He tried to shake himself for a second.

He wasn’t a complete idiot, but Kageyama wasn’t sure why these things kept happening. He knew a crush was one option, but that would mean he’d have to be gay right? Or something? He didn’t actually know a lot of things about it. He got the impression that there were more than two sexualities, at least there were various flags for them, but he wasn’t actually sure what his options were.

At any rate he sort of liked girls, and the way he liked girls was very different than the way he liked Hinata. So it couldn’t be a crush right?

Kageyama liked that girls had skirts, and were soft looking and Kageyama liked when they wore hair ribbons because hair ribbons were smooth and silky between his fingers. He like the knee high sock aesthetic and long hair. Girls were very visually appealing. Boys were sort of… _meh_

What did guys have? Cargo shorts and sandals?

Still, Kageyama had never wanted to kiss a girl, or hold hands with a girl. And while he sometimes wanted to run his fingers through their hair that was as much touching as he wanted. He definitely did not want to have sex with any of them. But he didn’t really want to have sex with Hinata either.

Kageyama sighed and walked home. His mom was home, for once, but she was lying on the couch, binge watching some TV shows and clearly exhausted. He didn’t want to bother her. Instead he went to his room, did his homework and then opened up his closet.

He stared at the stolen uniform and carefully took it out. He took out all the pieces separately, leaving the ribbon on his bed and carefully putting everything back in separate places. He stuffed the skirt in his underwear drawer. Kageyama tied a bow around his wrist and wondered what ‘misgender’ meant. He had heard Yachi talk about earlier today.

Usually, when Kageyama was confused he didn’t look into it. He just let it be. Usually, he didn’t think to hard about Hinata or girls or clothes. Instead he thought about volleyball, none of these things mattered when he was playing volleyball.

But he didn’t want to offend Yachi. He wanted to be her friend and if that meant he had to look up bizarre words then that’s what he was going to do. He was going to make friends and coach Natsu and he was going to be just as good as Oikawa. He was going to make his mother proud and he was going to stop feeling like there was something missing from his life, something that he couldn’t quiet see.

Kageyama was tried of being alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping, Coaching and Inadequacy

Kageyama was sure people were staring at him. He was standing outside some department store, waiting for Yachi and her friends and he didn’t have much to do other than look at his feet and try not to intimidate people. One couple even deliberately veered fifteen away from their path to avoid walk by him. Kageyama looked down at his sweater. He didn’t fidget or pick at the hem like he had seen Hinata and Yachi do occasionally.  Instead, he sighed, and hoped he was doing the right thing.

He had looked up the word “misgender” yesterday, but he was still confused by what Yachi had said to Shimizu. Shimizu didn’t look like a guy, so why would someone have mistaken her for one? Why was Yachi so concerned about it? Then again, when Kageyama's search had also said that concepts like "looking like a guy/girl" were multi-faceted. he hadn't understood all of it, but it seemed pretty complex.

Kageyama picked some food from his teeth and pretended not to notice a passerby flinch. He focused on the crowd looking for a flash of blond. Yachi was short, but her hair should be enough.

When he spotted her, he immediately took in who she was with. One girl was tall, the kind of lanky that basketball players were. She wasn’t as tall as Kageyama, but she was close, and dressed pretty simply compared to Yachi’s other friend. The other friend was short and dressed in all kinds of things Kageyama didn’t know the name of. Her hair had different tones, her earring were enormous and her shoes were floral print and pointy.

Kageyama’s heart beat in his chest as he tried not to be scary. Smiling wasn’t an option, but his default face wasn’t either. Kageyama tried to look surprised.

“Hey!” Yachi waved. She skipped a bit closer. “Kageyama, this is Fukui,” Yachi indicated the plump fashionista. “and this is Hayashi,” the tall girl waved.

Kageyama nodded and started to bow a little and then stopped.

“Do you play basketball?” He asked Hayashi. She laughed and shook her head.

“I used to play soccer when I was younger but I stopped after middle school, I wasn’t very good.” She shrugged. Kageyama furrowed his brow.

“Did you not like it? Couldn’t you get better?”

Fukui snorted and Yachi started to do some signals with her hands, but it wasn’t anything they’d done for a match, so Kageyama was lost.

“I…I didn’t want to embarrass myself, and I didn’t have anyone to help me. I just didn’t want to be the worst person on the team and let everyone down…” Hayashi shrugged.

Kageyama nodded. “Well, you should have had your team and your coach, but I’m sorry they weren’t there for you.” Hayashi looked taken aback for a spilt second, but then she smiled. Kageyama resisted the urge to smile in return. At least he’d finally done something right.

“So!” Fukui clapped her hands. “Where to first?”

Hayashi shrugged. “I’m just following you guys.”

Fukui threw her head back and laughed. She grabbed onto Yachi and the two of them headed off immediately.

Hayashi didn’t seem to be very interested in buying things, and Kageyama was glad to talk to someone while Yachi and Fukui went from store to store. Kageyama didn’t know anything about style. Still, he peered around the stores they went to. Most didn’t have men’s sections so he stared at the women’s sweaters. There were so many different kinds in so many different colours and patterns that he was a little overwhelmed. Kageyama felt the sleeve of a cashmere sweater while Hayashi talked about how well the Japan Women’s soccer team was doing internationally. It was apparently, much better than the men’s team.

Fukui returned, triumphant, Yachi hopping up beside her.

“Okay,” Fukui said, bags in her hand. “I just need to hit Ainz & Tuple and then…” Fukui turned to Kageyama. Her eyes glinted and Hayashi swore lightly under her breath. Kageyama felt sweat pool at the back of his neck. “You said you needed pants right? Do you know what you want?” She smiled.

Yachi laughed awkwardly. “I’m sure he—”

“Not really.” Kageyama said.

“You poor bastard.” Hayashi mumbled.

“Excellent, how about I help you out?” Fukui's grin grew. Kageyama shrugged, she probably knew what she was doing. “Also,” Fukui turned to Yachi. “I think that girl at the counter is a lesbian.”

Kageyama furrowed his brow.

“I—Are you sure—that…” Yachi quickly looked at the girl at the register and then turned back. Her hands clutched at her chest.

“She had one of those pride pins,” Fukui leaned in. “Even I could tell she was attractive.” Yachi stared to turn red, but shook herself.

“She could be an ally. No. I can’t risk it.”

Fukui laughed and clapped her on the back. “This is why you don’t have a girlfriend.” Fukui shook her head, putting one arm around Yachi’s shoulders. “What happened to this bold Yachi who’s manager of the volleyball team. Hmm? Kageyama, tell me she’s more assertive on the court.”

“I…I guess.”

Yachi turned to look at the girl at the counter and then buried her face in her hands. “She’s too beautiful. What if someone gets jealous and…I…ahhh…let’s go to the makeup store.” Yachi marched out of the store, Fukui just snickered. Hayashi rolled her eyes, looking at Kageyama like he was in on some joke. Some joke about Yachi, a hot girl at the counter, and Fukui.

Kageyama just nodded. They were half way to the makeup store when he realized Yachi was probably also a lesbian. Or the other thing. It wasn’t that he had thought she was straight, she’s never shown interest in any guys, but suddenly things clicked into place. It also clicked in to place that being gay was very difficult, and there was a lot about it he didn’t know. What if he had said something to offend Yachi?

He vowed to look it up when he got home when he felt his phone ring in his pocket. Confused, he picked up.

“Tobio.” It was his mom.

“Oh, hi,”

“I know you said you’d be out today, but are you done yet? Where did you say you were?” His mother sounded tired. Something twisted in Kageyama, something frayed but tightly suspended.

“I’m at the mall. With Yachi. I’m…buying pants.” Kageyama turned away from the girls.

“Oh! You! Do you need money? I’ll give you some money for it. I’m glad you have someone to go with, and Yachi…she’s the girl who helped you with your homework right? That’s good.” He could hear his mother smile. She went on for a bit, asking him if he was okay. Kageyama kept assuring her that he was, that she didn’t need to worry. She could relax. His mom was always worried about him and he hated it, she deserved to be relaxed, to be okay.

When they finally got to Ainz and Tuple Fukui giggled and ran off in one direction while Yachi headed directly towards the bath products. Usually they all went off in a group, Fukui leading, Kageyama in the rear. He didn’t know what to do. Kageyama turned to Hayashi.

“Don’t look at me! I don’t wear make-up.”

The store was huge, but there weren’t a lot of people here, sales associate or otherwise, so Hayashi and Kageyama meandered around the store. Opening up perfumes to smell them.  Hayashi tried out the lipstick on the back of her hand, and then snorted when Kageyama did the same.

“What?” He asked. Hayashi just shook your head.

“You’re just surprisingly chill.”

They goofed around in the eye shadow section and were halfway through the nail polish section when Yachi found them.

“Have you seen Fukui? Is she almost done?”

Kageyama shrugged.

“I’ll go look for her and drag her away from any of that skin bleaching shit.” Hayashi said and headed out. Yachi looked down at the nail polish on Kageyama’s fingers. He swallowed and shifted.

“I’m glad you’re having fun.” She said. She lifted his hand and inspected his nails. “But I don’t think purple is your colour. Maybe a classic red? Or a pastel green? Hmm…”

“I didn’t know you liked girls.” Kageyama said. “I don’t know if you wanted me to know.”

“It’s fine. You wouldn’t care about it anyway. I just get really nervous. Girls are just so cute, you know?”

“Yeah…”

Yachi painted one of his nails pale green and the other a dark, glittery red. “These I think suit you the best.” She smiled and Kageyama’s muscles unclenched. He relaxed his posture. He still didn’t know what he was doing, but Yachi was taking charge and that was enough.

Yachi removed and tried several different colour and brands and then removed it all before Fukui got back. She looked like she would fall over form the weight of all the bags she was carrying, but instead she kept on staying upright.

“Next stop-Kageyama makeover time.” This time Fukui threw her head back and laughed and Kageyama wondered if his trust was misplaced. She kept laughing, long enough for Hayashi and Yachi to exchange looks and then shake their head at Kageyama. Kageyama frowned.

They hit store after store and Kageyama tried on endless pairs of pants. He had thought wandering around stores was bad enough but having to be the participant was worse. The questions however, where the worst of all.

“What don’t you like about your pants?”

“I don’t know.”

“How about these?”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s wrong with this pair? How about a slim leg? Chinos? What kind of look are you going for?”

Yachi kept trying to assure him that he looked great, but no matter how many pants Kageyama wore, none of them were good. Still, Fukui kept up her pursuit.

After an hour it turned out that Kageyama wasn’t a fan of muted colours. He didn’t mind skinny jeans, but there was something about them that just made him not look right.

“What don’t you like about it?” Fukui asked, still weighed down by her purchases but not daunted yet.

“Maybe if I had a longer sweater? That covered,” Kageyama gestured to the top of his thighs.

“I don’t know if you could pull off a giant sweater and skinny jeans but we could try it. Right now, let’s just keep experimenting.”

Kageyama must have tried on one hundred pairs of jeans before Hayashi asked them to stop. Without Kageyama to talk to, she seemed more bored than before.

“Look, I just need to head over to Mari’s and get some shorts, but after that, I think I’m going to head out.”

Mari’s turned out to be a women’s sports store. Hayashi insisted that getting shorts elsewhere was an exercise in futility, especially if you wanted anything with pockets. Kageyama tried to remember this. Natsu would probably need kneepads and he doubted the store he went to would have sizes for female children. Or maybe they would, he’d never looked.

With Hayashi gone, Kageyama had excepted the mood to deflate, but Fukui seemed more determined to find something than before. Kageyama favoured the lighter colours, and blue and black, but no matter when he tried on something looked wrong about it.

When he did try on the pants with the gigantic sweater he was immediately hit with two things. One: he looked kind of silly, fashionable maybe, but definitely not like himself. Two: the awful feeling he had had about all the pants was gone. He didn’t exactly look right dressed like this, but that utter feeling of wrongness wasn’t there either.

He ended up going home without buying anything, but he had had fun.

“One day I will find you the perfect pair of pants.” Fukui promised. “One day.” She had clenched her fist and looked off into the distance, and Yachi had laughed. It had been a good day.

#

It was Sunday. The Sunday. The first attempt to teach Natsu to play volleyball. Kageyama waited by his front door, staring out the window for Hinata’s car. Hinata had insisted that his family drive Kageyama too and from their house. It was a long way away and Kageyama didn’t want to take the bus, but he never knew what to say to Hinata’s parents, and he was always concerned he never thanked them enough.

When he saw Hinata’s car pull up he waited a bit. He watched Hinata get out and go over to the door, and then Kageyama yanked it open before Hinata knocked and skidded past him to the car, getting there before Hinata.

Hinata scowled at him the entire ride. It was strange, staring at Hinata. On the one hand he felt absolutely great, he’d won and beaten Hinata and even though it wasn’t a real race that didn’t mean Hinata’s hadn’t lost. On the other hand Hinata looked funny when he scowled, it was novel, like a scowling puppy. It made him feel warm inside but he couldn’t figure out why.

“You have to take this thing seriously Bakayama. A lot is riding on this. If we can coach Natsu to be better than Takeru, do you know what that means?”

“Of course I know what that means, idoit.” Kageyama didn’t understand what Hinata was getting at, or why this was so important. But Hinata didn't need to know that.

“It means that we’ve surpassed the Grand King, and it means that we can communicate with others. Next year, we’ll have new first years, and we’ll have kouhai, we’ll have to help them you know.”

Kageyama was dreading next year a little for that exact reason. He didn’t have a good track record as a senpai, as least when he was younger than everyone most people were okay. But Hinata was right, they needed to learn how to interact with underclassmen. Kageyama especially. That had been his mission more than a year now after all. Become a better teammate. Make friends. Be less socially awkward.

Be more like Oikawa, except not Oikawa _specifically_. Just, in general also have the skills that he had.

Hinata continued to scowl at Kageyama even as Kageyama thanked Hinata’s dad for the ride. Hinata’s dad was a limo driver, Kageyama knew and was probably tired of driving people everywhere.

Kageyama wondered why Hinata was sitting in the back with him and the equipment they’d brought instead of up in the front. Was he too short to sit in the front seat? That seemed unlikely. But it also seemed unlikely that Hinata had just wanted to sit in the back because he enjoyed Kageyama’s company.

Eventually they arrived at the park. Kageyama and Hinata got out off the car and sprinted to where Natsu and her friends, and her friend’s mom, were already waiting. Kageyama won again.

“Okay, you girls have fun, and Hinata, call if they’re a handful.” The woman said as she left the three girls in their hands. Hinata scoured the park for some space for them, turned to the girls and smiled. He was so easy with them, natural and calm. Kageyama stood back and watched.

“Who’s that?” One of the girls pointed at Kageyama. She was dark skinned, her hair tied up in two pigtails. The girl beside her, all teeth and eyes, shrugged.

“That’s Tobio-chan.” Natsu said. She waved at him. Kageyama waved back. “He’s a setter.”

“What’s a setter?” The toothy girl asked. Natsu shrugged. Hinata first went over explaining the different positions and the rules.  Toothy, Kageyama realized, was called Ran and Pigtails was Amaya. They both looked bored with Hinata’s explanation though Natsu listened, completely still, eyes glued on her brother. Someday Kageyama wanted some to look at him like that.

“Can we play now?” Ran whined.

“Sure, first we’re going to play a warm-up game. It’s called bomb! The ball will explode if it touches the ground so we all have to work together to keep it in the air, sound good?” Hinata smiled. Kageyama figured they could save the stretches for later. The girls were eager to play, especially Amaya who kept leaping at the ball and faceplanting in the grass.

Natus was the only one who attempted to volley the ball, looking at Hinata and Kageyama for inspiration. Ran seemed more keen on punching it upwards or kicking it.

They all seemed to be having fun though. No matter how many times Amaya missed or got a mouthful of grass she kept laughing. Hinata kept bouncing everywhere, tickling his sister and bouncing the ball of one of the girls heads. Kageyama felt mostly useless.

“Okay, now we have to stretch, and then we’re going to play one game before we practice, okay?” Hinata looked at Kageyama. “Kageyama’s going to demonstrate what to do, and I’ll help if you can’t manage.”

Kageyama blinked, but started stretching. The little five-year-old girls weren’t particularly flexible, but they were determined to mirror Kageyama. When they had finished stretching Hinata threw the ball to Kageyama, who received it rather than caught it. Hinata had to go pick the ball off the ground, but didn’t try to give it back to Kageyama or mention his mistake. Kageyama tried not to turn red.  He wasn’t going to let Hinata get the better of him. Except Hinata seemed to know what he was doing and if Kageyama was replaced by a lamp there probably wouldn’t be much of a difference. Kageyama hated that feeling.

“We’re going to play another game. This is a competition though,” Hinata waged his finger. “It’s called…um…bridge! Yeah, bridge, see there’s an invisible bridge and you have to get the volleyball over it, but you can’t hold the volleyball or catch it so.” Hinata turned to Kageyama, who saw where this is going. “You have to pass it back and forth over the bridge as many times as you can. The winners will get to be on my team when we play.” Hinata waggled his eyebrows and tossed the ball to Kageyama, he received it, passing it over to Hinata, who passed it back.

The girls seemed to understand and Amaya immediately picked up a ball and asked Ran to be her partner.

“Tobio is scary.” She whispered. She was young, so her whispers were pretty loud and Kageyama could easily hear it. Kageyama frowned, but Natsu tugged at his leg and beamed up at him.

“Well you’re a lot better than Ran or Amaya, so I think that means we’ll win.” She kept smiling and Kageyama melted. It turned out to be harder to get a back and forth going than Kageyama had originally thought and no one could make it past four. Hinata was helping Ran and Amaya, trying to show them different ways to move the ball.

Kageyama shifted his feet. Hinata seemed to actually know something about coaching, having spent some time with the older Ukai. Kageyama was just here to set the ball.

Natsu almost hit the ball at Kageyama’s face, but he returned it instantly.

“Wow. You’re really good!” Natsu looked like a mini Hinata sometimes. But she was softer, kinder, but just as sturdy it seemed. She focused on the task, a look Kageyama had seen on Hinata often enough. Starting this young and with such determination, she could grow up to be just as good as Kageyama. He held onto that thought, and tried to think of the lessons he should have learned when was younger.

“You’re team is important, Natus.” He said. “You have to get a fell for what they can and can’t do, it’s not enough to give the ball to them if they can’t return it.”

Natsu nodded seriously. She looked at the ball in her hands and Kageyama saw the barest flicker of a tremor across her fingers. She tried again and again, but they couldn’t get past four.

In the end Ran and Amaya won. Natsu complained that Hinata was helping, so they were cheating, but Hinata waved it off. Instead he set up the collapsible net. Hinata, Ran and Amaya against Natsu and Kageyama. Natsu was the smallest of the girls, could barely reach over the net and certainly couldn’t jump like her brother.

“If you pass the ball to me, I’ll hit it over.” Kageyama said. Natsu nodded seriously again, and suddenly Kageyama wondered if Hinata had heard. He probably sounded ridiculous, or worse, he sounded like Hinata. Kageyama looked over his shoulder to check but Hinata wasn’t paying attention to him. He was laughing with the girls. Kageyama’s stomach dropped off like he was on a rollercoaster and then softened.

When they started playing and it became immediately apparent where their skill level was at. It wasn’t good. Amaya kept _trying_ to get the ball, but couldn’t hit it over or pass it to anyone making her receives somewhat useless. Ran couldn’t pass to anyone either, or figure out where the ball was going to land, but if it was hit toward her, she could get it over the net.

Still, somehow, through luck and Hinata urging Kageyama to spike the ball directly toward the girls, they continued to score points.

Natsu and Kageyama didn’t. Natsu wasn’t great with receive or hitting it over the net. But she was doing something no one on the other side was. She was thinking. She had a plan to bump the ball toward Kageyama and hope it was high enough and close enough for him to hit. It usually wasn’t, but instead of giving up she just kept trying the same strategy, instead modifying where she stood and how she hit the ball. She wanted to be good. The others may have wanted to win, but Natsu wanted to learn.

The problem with Natsu’s strategy was that when Kageyama spiked the ball he was wasn’t really spiking it. He was basically just setting it to Ran and hoping she could hit it over the net.

Kageyama wondered why Natsu was doing this. Natsu had never mentioned she’d wanted to play before. Was she just doing this for her brother? Was there something else involved? Kageyama wasn’t sure.

But he did know one thing. If Natsu practiced enough, she was going to get a lot better and she if she wanted to, she could beat Takeru Oikawa.

Kageyama looked over at Hinata. He was a good coach, but what was Kageyama?

Not good enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have any questions or feedback leave a message here or on my tumblr www.stories-n-things.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamaguchi says some stuff, Kageyama gets a little smarter

Kageyama, Hinata and the girls practiced again at the park next Saturday. Saturday worked better for Hinata. The girls weren’t coming along quickly, but they seemed at least to enjoy playing, and Natsu was still thinking. Going over things in her mind and trying to perfect what she saw. Hinata was still excellent and Kageyama tried, but both Ran and Amaya were avoiding him.

As Ran and Amaya were being picked up from the park and Hinata was seeing them off, Natsu pulled Kageyama aside.

“I want to be a setter.” She said. She was holding onto his pant leg, looking up at him with a seriousness that seemed wrong on a five year old. “I…you can’t tell big brother. I was hoping on Sundays you could train me to be a setter. I want to get good, and I think I can…” Natsu trailed off when her brother started to come back. “Next Saturday you can you bring a piece of paper with the address for a park near your house? I’ll get mommy to drive me there!”

Kageyama didn’t know what to say. Even as he went home and lay in his bed, he didn’t know what to say. He treaded his red ribbon between his fingers and thought about it. The gymnasium near his house had volleyball courts set up, but he didn’t want to be seen by Oikawa in the main gym. There was a side gym, reserved just for girls, but Kageyama wouldn’t be allowed in it.

Not unless he was a girl.

#

Kageyama called his cousin Noriko on Sunday while he tried to look up things about being a good friend to someone who was a lesbian.

She was surprised to hear from him, even after he explained that he was helping coach his friends little sister, and wanted some advice.

“I don’t know if it’s different for little girls…” Kageyama trailed off, phone on speaker beside him as he stared at his laptop screen.

“Hmm…it’s a multifaceted issue. If I had to say one thing it’s that encouraging perseverance is more important. A lot of girls quit, but it’s not always because they don’t like it. I know I always feel like I have to be especially good, to combat any stereotypes, I don’t know. Hey, you can come over next Friday, not this one coming up, and we can talk about and you can do be a favour too, how about that?”

Kageyama thought of Hayashi who quit because she didn’t know how to get better. “Yeah, next Friday?”

“Excellent.” Noriko hung up the phone without really saying good-bye. Kageyama paged through numerous LGBT sites, there was a lot of information, and a lot specific details and things that were too complicated to understand. There were some other sites that were simpler, but they were so mind-numbingly obvious that Kageyama was sure they weren’t enough. What he needed was a tutor. Studying with Yachi and Yamaguchi wasn’t actually that bad, but studying by himself was terrible. Kageyama supposed even if the subject wasn’t school related, the same principal applied.

But who was he going to ask? He couldn’t ask Yachi how to avoid being offensive toward her, could he? What that offensive? What he needed to do was keep a look out for someone who looked like they knew stuff about this.

It was also becoming apparent that Kageyama should really be sorting out his own feelings. Hinata was his best friend. He didn’t know if he was Hinata’s best friend, but Kageyama didn’t have a large friend pool to choose from and he didn’t want to mess things up. But he also realized if he wanted to relate to other people, people who talked about crushes or sex, he’d also have to understand what they were talking about. And he didn’t.

He had spent the last half hour looking over asexual and aromantic information blogs trying to sort out the differences between difference attractions and his conclusions had been vague at best.

He was certain though that he wasn’t sexually attracted to Hinata, or anyone probably. Maybe. Or maybe he just hadn’t been thinking about it so it had never come up. Or maybe he was repressing his sexual attraction to Hinata because he was worried about pushing him away? Or maybe he was asexual.

Actually Kageyama didn’t know much. Except he had a keen understanding of the word aesthetic. He liked girls aesthetically much more than he liked guys. Sensual attraction or platonic attraction or sexual or romantic who the hell knew what his feelings were about that.

But still, he felt he’d made some small progress. Distantly Kageyama knew that Oikawa would probably know how to sort these things out. Girls were always following him around, and Oikawa had dated, so he probably knew. A part of him wanted to ask his senpai, after all Oikawa had given good advice when he knew that Kageyama had needed it, but another part of Kageyama, the part that broke out into cold sweat whenever he had to face Seijou, that part of him said he should be able to figure this out on his own. If he wanted to get better, to be a better team player, a better leader, he should at least be able to figure out his own feelings.

#

It hit him on Wednesday.

Kageyama was in the club room, shirtless, staring at the jersey in his hand. He looked around the room briefly, trying to decide if anyone there was sexually attractive when he noticed it.

Yamaguchi was avoiding looking at anyone. Kageyama stared at him, until Yamaguchi looked back up, met his eye and paled. That was not a response Kageyama had seen before. Kageyama finished changing and headed to the gym, paying close attention to Yamaguichi for the rest of the practice.

That was when he noticed it. Half way through practice, Tsukishima, covered in sweat, chugged most of his water, and missed his mouth. That wasn’t anything interesting, but the way Yamaguchi watched the water drip down Tsukishima’s neck. The way Yamaguchi’s nostrils flared and his eyes widened before he turned away. That sounded like a definition of sexual attraction Kageyama had read about on Sunday.

Yamaguchi liked guys.

Yamaguchi could probably teach Kageyama how to be a good ally to Yachi.

After practice Kageyama told Hinata to go on ahead without him and tried to talk to Yamaguchi. Unfortunately Tsukishima seemed glued to his side, intent to look nonchalant, but also like he could cut Kageyama if he wanted to.

“Yamaguchi I need your help with something.”

“He doesn’t have time to help idiots like you.” Tsukishima said. Kageyama looked right at him, hands clenched, heart beating fast in his chest. He wasn’t going to lose this opportunity to Tsukishima. He wasn’t going to be social awkward and accidentally offending people for the rest of his life. Kageyama didn’t glare though, he just took a deep breath. He turned to Yamaguchi.

“I just have a question about something, about getting a present for Yachi, you’re…also…friends with her so I thought you could help. It’s a secret though.” Now Kageyama glared at Tsukishima. Luckily this lie was the same one he’d told Hinata so if Tsukishima asked around it would make sense.

Tsukishima sighed but turned to Yamaguchi anyway.

“I can help, yeah,” Yamaguchi stepped forward then turned to Tsukishima. “Just go ahead Tsukki I’ll catch up.” He smiled and Tsukishima left, glancing back at Yamaguchi several times as he headed off down the street.

Kageyama waited until Tsukishima was out of earshot. “Actually I wanted to talk you about something else.” Yamaguchi opened his mouth to say something but Kageyama barrelled ahead. “You like guys.” Yamaguchi’s mouth slammed shut and he immediately starting looking around. “I just, since you’re gay, or bi maybe I dunno I wanted you to help me be less…I wanted you to teach me about LGBT issues, I have a friend who’s gay and I don’t want to offend her—them accidentally.”

Yamaguchi stopped looking around, but it was clear his muscles were still tense. He seemed to consider this for a moment.

“I…” Kageyama wondered if he should bow. That had gotten Oikawa and Tsukishima to help him in the past. “I just want to help my friend. Please teach me.” Kageyama moved to bow but Yamaguchi stopped him.

“There’s nothing really to teach, but uh…if you have questions I guess you can answer them.”

Kageyama nodded. The sun was still out. “Can we go somewhere? To eat or…”

Yamaguchi paused, “You’re not trying to ask me ou…” Yamaguchi squinted at him, who blinked. “…no…”

“No?”

“I mean, sure, we can have coffee while you ask things but I don’t know I’ll have all the answers, I’m just one guy.” Yamaguchi shrugged and Kageyama followed him.

“But you are gay?”

“Hmm…yes.” Yamaguchi was holding onto his bag so hard his knuckles were white.

“Tsukishima doesn’t know.” Kageyama said finally, glad that he’d figured it out.

“I—no.”

“I’m sorry for figuring it out I guess,”

Yamaguchi didn’t say anything about it until they were seated at the corner table of the coffee shop. There was no one immediately around them but the place was full enough to draw the barista’s attention. Yamaguchi looked down at his drink.

“If I know someone who’s gay, do they expect me to set them up? Do norma—I mean straight people also expect that?” Kageyama pulled out a binder from his bag.

“Well calling straight people “normal” and implying—are you taking notes?” Kageyama nodded. Yamaguchi pressed him mouth into a firm line, sighed, and then ran a hand over his face. “Probably not, I don’t…if someone asks you they probably want to be set up, but otherwise no. There’s not a lot of straight people who want to be set up either, I think, but umm…if there’s someone they’re interested in then they might expect you to help.”

Kageyama nodded. He thought of Fukui and Yachi. “How do you know if someone’s gay? Or the other things?”

“You ask them.” Yamaguchi glared.

“What if they’re afraid of you?”

Yamaguchi’s glared subsided. He turned at something behind Kageyama’s head and then scratched his nose. “You, okay it’s sort of rude to…I don’t know. You can only be sure if you ask someone, but not everyone likes being asked about themselves out of the blue. You have to get to know them, otherwise it’s rude.”

Kageyama wrote something down. He continued asking Yamaguchi questions, about how to react to people coming out to him, and the kind of support he should provide.

Yamaguchi became more animated as time wore on, his shoulder’s relaxed and he snorted at one point.

Kageyama looked at his notes. He probably had enough information to avoid stepping on any toes. If he did, he also knew how to apologize for it.

“When did you realize you were gay?” Kageyama looked up at Yamaguchi. Then back at his notes. “If that’s okay.” He looked at Yamaguchi again.

“Um…middle school. In elementary school as you got older everyone started to discover girls and I didn’t but I guess I thought I would?” Yamaguchi looked into his coffee and stirred, though Kageyama wasn’t sure there was anything left. “When I got to middle school there was this guy I really wanted to be friends with I guess or I thought and then these other guys kept talking about girls and I didn’t understand it, but sometimes it was the way I felt about that guy? In class, at one pint, we had like, these little booklets,” Yamaguchi spread out his hands into a little square to emphasis the tiny size. “And they talked about these like eight or so different people, Akito who likes girls and Ken who liked girls and guys Yusuke who liked guys and Kiko who likes girls and all these people and it was the first time I really understood that you could be gay I guess? I remember thinking that I felt a lot like Yusuke and I don’t know. There was…” Yamaguchi was still staring at his hands. “There was this little website on the back of the booklet and I looked it up and it was a forum, where people asked all these questions to strangers who tried to answer and then I kind of just…figured it out. It’s not the same for everyone, some people find out must later because of heteronormativitiy.”

Kageyama looked down at his notes for the definition of the word heteronormativitiy.

“I can send you the link to the forum if you want.”

Kageyama thought about it. In all likelihood, Yamaguchi had probably never told this story to anyone else. Probably no one knew he was gay and Yamaguchi had no one to talk to about his feelings about this.

“I don’t like talking to strangers online.” Kageyama left out the part were he always made a fool of himself. “Could you still…can I still talk to you about these things?”

“Uh…yeah, sure. Here.” Yamaguchi took Kageyama’s pen from the table and scrawled his number in Kageyama’s binder.  “You can text me or something.” Yamaguchi smiled. He didn’t smile like Shimizu, not like a calm lake, but he also didn’t smile like HInata who was all bright fields of sunflowers. Yamaguchi’s smile was like a log fire, warm, but small burning away steady and evenly and comfortable.

“What does sexual attraction feel like? What does romantic attraction feel like?”

“Uh…” Yamaguchi stopped smiling. “Is…you…what do you think it is?”

“I don’t know? I thought them were sort of the same and they were this ‘ahah’ feeling but I don’t think so anymore.”

“Well…it’s sort of like…well romantic attraction is like you really want to be close to the person, sort of like friends, but you want be physically close too and you want them to like you, but then you want them to _like_ like you or that sounds lame.” Yamaguchi laughed. “It’s kind of a feeling that you know it once you have it? Or once you have it and put a name to it…” Kageyama was lost. Yamaguchi seemed to sense that and tried again. “Like when you when you see a cat and you think ‘oh that’s such a cute cat, I want it to like me’ that’s sort of more, platonic I guess? I hope. But with a person you have this other feeling you don’t get with a cat, a sort of fluttery tingly feeling and usually, but not always it comes with wanting to do romantic things with them. It can happen slowly, before you realize it though.

“Sexual attraction is like, well it can also happen slowly, I guess, but it’s more about physical? I think? I don’t-I’m not good at explaining.” Yamaguchi scratched his nose. “I’ll think about better ways to answer that and get back to you.”

“How do you feel a gender?”

“What?”

“When, when you identify as a gender, how do you know? Or those people who have a bunch of genders? How do they know?”

“Uh…” Yamaguchi’s phone was vibrating on the table but he didn’t move to answer it. Kageyama looked at the caller ID. _Tsukki_. “Uh…I don’t know, actually. Sorry. I guess it’s like whichever one just feels right? People choose words to match their feelings so I guess it’s how much you identify with a word or concept but that’s really different between people?”

Kageyama nodded again. He felt a little better, knowing that even Yamaguchi didn’t have all these things sorted out. Everyone loved Yamaguchi and if he couldn’t sort these things out, it wasn’t because he lacked social skills, it was because it was hard and that meant it was okay for Kageyama not to understand them either.

“Thanks.”

Kageyama bought a muffin on his way out and ate it as he walked home and tried to think about things.

He felt very differently about girls than he did cats. But he wasn’t sure why. He wanted both of them to like him, he didn’t want to get very physically close to them, didn’t want anything that seemed very sexual. But…but he wanted something from girls he didn’t want from cats. Acceptance? Maybe. Maybe something like that.

But one thing was almost certain. Whatever he felt towards Hinata was not platonic.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone can figure out what Kageyama's about, except Kageyama

It rained on Saturday. Rained was probably an understatement. Spending even a few minutes outside felt like standing at the end of a waterfall and Kageyama was sure that meant training for Natsu was cancelled for this week.

But it wasn’t. Instead Hinata and the girls had shown up in Hinata’s mother’s car and asked him where the gym near his house was.

When they got there, each of them dripping on the floor of the lobby, their equipment bag heavy and soaked, Kageyama saw Oikawa. And Oikawa, perfectly dry, managed to spot them too. He waved them over, all smiles and winks. Takeru, his nephew, stood behind him.

“That’s the guy who bowed to you!” Takeru said as Hinata and Kageyama grudgingly made their way over.  Or Kageyama was grudging. Hinata seemed fired up.

“Oh look! It’s Tobio-chan and, and there’s a mini shorty!” Oikawa looked down at Natsu. He smiled down at the girls, not unpleasantly. This was the smile Oikawa gave people he was trying to impress, Kageyama knew. This smile was like soap, clean, but with an awful taste if you got too close.

“We’re teaching Natsu how to play volleyball.” Hinata said. “She’s going to be the best. Even better than your nephew.” Hinata squared his shoulders and feet, adopting a sort of fighting stance. Oikawa just laughed and waved his hands. “We’ll challenge you even, Natsu and her friends against—”

“I’m not going to lose to some girls!” Takeru protested. Natsu stuck out her tongue.

“I’m going to punch you!” Ran said but Oikawa just shook his head and reprimanded his nephew.

“You’re not going to beat them because they’re girls, you’re going to beat them because you have years more experience and volleyball isn’t something you can learn overnight.” Oikawa smiled again, but this time it was different, sharper, like a hunting knife, just as clean and just as shiny as before, but this time deadly.

“We’re going to win.” Natsu stepped forward and puffed out her chest, drawing herself to her full height. She looked like a kitten standing up to a bear as she stared down Oikawa. “You’re nephew is mean and stupid. We’re going to work hard and win. Volleyball isn’t something you can do without working hard.” Natsu stuck her tongue out at Takeru and placed her hands on her hips. Oikawa chuckled and patted her on the head. Kageyama expected something more sinister in the action but it was affectionate and malice free.

“We’ll see I guess.” Oikawa smiled at Natsu, his real smile, but it was gone in an instant as he turned back to Kageyama and Tobio. “See you on the court, bye,” Oikawa drew out the last word, as he and Takeru strolled into down a hallway.

“Don’t worry, girls, we’re going to beat him.” Hinata grinned. He really was like the sun, burning hot and intense, a force to be reckoned with. Kageyama wanted to hold his face between his hands and feel the warmth that would radiant off him. Kageyama’s palms stared to sweat and he whipped them on his shorts.

“C’mon.” He said.

“We’re definitely going to beat him.” Natsu said. She turned to Ran and Amaya and nodded her head. “Let’s do it!” She jumped in the air and instigated a group hug with her friends. Hinata chuckled, turning to Kageyama and nudging him the side.

“Let’s hope we can keep them this fired up, huh!”

Kageyama couldn’t help, but smile. Hinata didn’t look startled though, instead he turned back to his sister and the ruffled her hair.

This time Hinata started with stretching and drills. They taught the girls how to bump and eventually got them to try to bump the volleyball into a plastic bin Hinata had brought. Ran complained, but Amaya just kept trying to beat Natsu. Natsu, for her part was utterly focused. She watched her brother with a hawk-like precision, trying to copy him exactly, but failing.

“Natsu…” Kageyama stepped closer to Natsu, who turned to him. “You can’t always copy your brother exactly, it’s more important you get a feel for it first. It…you were right when you said it would take hard work and it’s okay not to get it at first, just, make sure you understand how _you_ can change it, not how someone else can.” Kageyama knelt done beside her and gentle repositioned her elbow. “You’re over extending your elbow to get your arms flat and imitate your brother but you’ll hurt yourself that way. It’s okay if you under extend at first,” Kageyama bent her elbow. “And then push it more out until you get the distance that works for _you_. It’s…if you don’t try new things, you’ll never get better, right? Even if you fail at them you have to learn. It…um…don’t give up.” Kageyama didn’t try to smile. He didn’t pat Natsu on the head like Hinata or Oikawa. Instead, he bopped her on the nose, like his father used to do to him when he was a kid. “Focus.” Natsu beamed up at him and then turned back to the plastic bin.

When Kageyama looked up he saw Hinata there, looking at him. His expression was soft. Hinata gave him a thumbs up and turned back to the other girls.

After that drill they practiced the “bridge game” as Hinata had called it. The results were actually pretty immediate. While it was still difficult for anyone to get over four Ran and Amaya were both trying to carefully aim. Natsu too was trying different thing, tossing one moment and bumping it the next. She was experimenting.

Their practice match wasn’t much better than the one last week but the girls loved it until Amaya dove for the ball and skinned her knee. Instead of crying, she just looked at it, as if she couldn’t understand why blood was gushing form her knee.

Hinata called her mom while Ran insisted that Amaya suck it up and keep palling. Natsu pulled Kageyama aside.

“Ten o’clock tomorrow can you be here?” She asked. Kageyama nodded. “My mom will call you from the car probably, so pick up!” She smiled at him and then instead of practicing they played the game with the plastic bucket until Amaya’s mom came to get her.

#

Kageyama stared at himself in the mirror. He was wearing his uniform sweater and the girl’s uniform skirt. He looked nothing like a girl, he looked like a fifteen year old boy in a skirt.

Realistically he should just resign himself to possibly running into Oikawa at the gym again. Instead, Kageyama took the red ribbon and his phone from his night stand and headed out into the hall. He walked into his mother’s room and stood near her vanity. She was usually at the office from eight until four on Sundays and that gave Kageyama plenty of time.

He sat on the stool in front of the vanity and looked down at the various cosmetics. He looked around until he found what he was looking for, his mother’s hair extensions. Him and his mother had the same colour hair, so he figured he could probably put them in. He googled how to put hair extensions in and then spent the next hour trying to fit them on his head without looking ridiculous.

Then he pulled them into a loose side braid and tied it with the red ribbon.

He looked in the vanity mirror that cut off around his shoulder. Kageyama didn’t know what he expected, but something very urgent was pressing it’s way to the surface. Kageyama ignored it completely. He went straight to the washroom, looking for leg wax and waxed his entire legs. The feeling burned, but Kageyama just kept going forward. This wasn’t going to work. This wasn’t going to work and he was going to look ridiculous and then he was going to have to face Oikawa. He was going to have to face Oikawa, without Hinata and admit he didn’t know how to coach anyone, he’d have to admit he was bad with people.

Kageyama was sweating and the hair extensions just added extra heat, extra weight that he hadn’t anticipated and he was boiling in his sweater. But he wasn’t going to take it off. It was baggy enough that he figured someone might just think he had a flat chested, but not know for sure.

Kageyama sat on the edge of the bathtub in his bathroom and tried to breath. He went back to his room and stood in front of the mirror again.

Sitting at the vanity he had still felt he looked the same and hadn’t expected the hair to change much, but it surprised him. He stared at himself, at the bright red ribbon in his hair and wondered if he could actually get away with this. He sat on his bed and started breathing again. No one would really be looking at him, he hadn’t been to the girls only gymnasium, but if it was anything like the normal one everyone would be absorbed in their own thing.

He grabbed his gym bag and headed out before he lost his nerve. He walked instead of taking the bus.  There would be too many people on the bus with nothing to do but stare at strangers and wonder.

Everything was still wet from yesterday but it wasn’t raining anymore, everything was just grey. Kageyama felt grey. He wondered what favour Norkio needed help with.

The gym was right across from the mall so when Kageyema realized he had arrived an hour early he headed there for lack of anywhere else to do. Specifically he headed to Mari’s the women’s sports store so he could pick up kneepads for Natsu, it was obvious from yesterday that the girls needed them. As Kageyama browsed the equipment he almost forgot what he was wearing. Kageyama stood in front of the knee pads, wondering how small Natsu’s knees were and whether or not she wanted black, blue or white ones.

He didn’t notice that sales associated at first.

“Go talk to her.” One of them said. Kageyama didn’t hear anyone approach. “For crying out loud.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the one speaking as the cashier.

“She-look at her.” Another one whispered, though not very quietly.

“Just because she’s like a lesbian or something doesn’t mean she doesn’t need help. Maybe she doesn’t want to be that butch? Hmm? Maybe everyone is too afraid of her.”

“She could eat me firstly, and why would I want to help someone like _that_.” The floor associate said. Kageyama heard the cashier sigh and vault over the counter toward him. Kageyama didn’t know what to say. And realized that speaking at all might be a very bad idea. The cashier was suddenly by his side and Kageyama didn’t know what to do.

“Hi,” The cashier said. “Need help with something.”

Kageyama opened his mouth. He thought about which first person pronoun to use and then instead of saying anything got out his phone. He had taken a picture with Hinata and Natsu yesterday. He showed the cashier the phone, pointing at Natsu and then, as quietly as he could said. “size?”

“Oh,” The cashier laughed and then glared over her shoulder at the floor sales associate. “For your friend’s sister?” Kageyama nodded. “Small is probably enough but you’re looking in the adults section, the Junior small would be,” the cashier took two steps to her right, “right here.” She pointed down at the bottom. “Small.” Kageyama nodded and sighed, bending over to pick the white one.

“Do you need help with anything else?” The cashier looked Kageyama up and down and Kageyama paled. His heart was beating to hard in his chest and something nasty was gripping at his throat. The girl looked down at the gym bag and then at the ribbon in Kageyama’s hair. “Are…if you want to look…” she seemed to consider was she was going to say. “We have padded sports bra, if that’s a problem, most girls don’t like them so we keep them in a separate section, but I can show them to you. If you want.” She looked at Kageyama. Kageyama felt paralyzed, his throat was an abyss tightening everything around it. He nodded. The cashier smiled, ruefully, and then took him over to the section. “There’s a change room over there.” The cashier pointed. “If you need anything just ask.”

He was not adequately prepared for this. Kageyama didn’t even understand what she expected him to do. Would it be rude not to do anything? Would it be rude to just pay for the knee pads, even though she had shown him the specific section. She had offered to help him, even though he looked scary, just because he looked like he needed help. And they both though he was girl, would a girl just leave?

Kageyama at the very least was vaguely familiar with cup sizes, and he knew A was the smallest so he took some of the largest ones from that side and went to the change room. He stood inside and locked the door behind him, looking through the various sizes he had gotten. 36A/80B , 40A/90B and 42A/95B.

He didn’t know what the numbers meant. He looked around the room and spotted various info graphs tapped to the wall. One was actually about bra sizes. Kageyama stood and looked closer to it. There was even a hook with a measuring tape beside in. He read the first line.

_Finding a bra that fits is hard, but in sports, it’s vital for comfort._

Most of the graph was talking about the different types of sports bras and how to put them on appropriately, but one paragraph did talk about the numbers. They were your under bust/chest measurements.

Kageyama took off his sweater and measures his chest. He wondered why they would need info graph in the store. Where there girls that honestly didn’t know how to put on a bra? That seemed like such a fundamental thing. Maybe it was help people who were doing it wrong?

Kageyama looked at the diagrams. The process didn’t look complicated. Kageyama sighed and turned to look at the mirror. He was just in his undershirt and the skirt. How long was he supposed to be in here until the sales people thought he was finished trying things on?

If he were to actually buy a bra, it would probably have to have an even larger band size than the ones he had assembled here. Kageyama bit his lip. Then he took off his undershirt, picked the largest bra and tried it on, carefully pulling his sweater over top. There was a surprising amount of padding, but the band was still a little tight. Kageyama stared at himself in the mirror again. He thought about the shopping day with Yachi and trying on endless amounts of pants.

He looked down at the skirt then back that mirror. He didn’t know why the cashier thought he was a lesbian. Yachi was a lesbian was she was small and cute and fashionable. Well, Kageyama knew why. Stereotypes. But he couldn’t seem to wrap his head around them. But there was a lot of things Kageyama couldn’t seem to wrap his head around.

#

Kageyama waited for Natsu in the lobby of the gym, turning over the tube of lip gloss. The cashier had said the proceeds went to funding inner-city girls’ sports team so Kageyama had bought that along with everything else. The tube was pink and glittery and its contents were the same

No one was paying Kageyama any mind as he leaned against the wall. Carefully he uncapped the tube and stared at the contents. His phone rang in his pocket so he put the lip-gloss away and answered.

“Hello, Kageyama?”

“Aha yes.”

“Natsu just came in do you see her?”

Kageyama looked around before spotting Natsu he immediately walked over to her. The band on the bra was digging into his ribs, but Kageyama ignored it as he walked over to Natsu and tapped her on the shoulder.

“I got her, yeah.”

“Good, I’ll pick her up in two hours.” Hinata’s mother hung up and Natsu continued to stare at Kageyama. Kageyama tried to explain the rules about the girls gym and that he was in disguise, but Natsu only shrugged.

“Okay. Lead the way _big sister_.”

Kageyama opened his mouth, then closed it. He lead Natsu into the gym, hyperaware of everyone looking at them. He felt claustrophobic and too hot, sweating and boiling and a bit like he was going to be sick. What if someone knew?

But no one was really looking. Natsu was already in her shorts so they skipped the family change rooms. When they got to the gym Kageyama pushed the door open walked in.

It looked exactly like the main gym, but everyone was a woman and there were a lot more middle aged people with kids. Kageyama helped Natsu put on the knee pads he got her. She kept thanking him and Kageyama kept nodding, not trusting himself to speak in a room full of people.

Instead of practicing a lot of drills with the ball, Kageyama, very quietly, explained to her a lot of the basic strategies and they practiced her passing.

“A setter needs to have a good feel for the game, and place the ball exactly where they want it, passing and tossing are the most important.” Kageyama explained, as quietly as possible, and hoped he wasn’t boring her but Natsu seemed to absorb whatever he was saying without question.

He gave her as many tips as he could and reemphasized the basics. She just nodded and Kageyama wasn’t sure how he was doing. He felt too warm, and even though he knew no one was watching, the ever present fear that someone might be set him on edge.

When Natsu told him to relax Kageyama knew he was screwed.

Still, he kept trying. Trying was important and Kageyama was not going to give up. Natsu was eager to learn, eager to take direction and Kageyama wanted to help her. By the they were finished Natsu looked exhausted and was barely paying attention. Two hours was probably too much practice for a five year old.

Miraculously, Natsu’s mother picked her up without getting out of the car and therefore didn’t seen Kageyama in a skirt.

When he got home Kageyama lay on his bed, breathing too hard. Why would anyone do this to themselves? Today had been terrible. Absolutely nothing like Gender Exchange Day.

Kageyama texted Yamaguchi.

_Does wearing a skirt make you a girl?_

After a while Yamaguchi texted back and Kageyama was more confused then other.

 _Not necessarily_ Yamaguchi had texted. Kageyama read it again and again. _Not necessarily._

_#_

Lunch with Hinata the next day was confusing. Hinata didn’t act any differently. They were sitting on the grass by a tree, a volleyball between them. He was going on about beating the Grand King and how Natsu was going to be the best spiker after him.  Hinata gestured with his chopsticks flinging bits of rice at Kageyama.

“Watch yourself dumbass.”

“Geez, it was an accident.” Hinata smiled. Kageyama wanted to touch his face again. That wasn’t normal. That…that wasn’t sexual though. Kageyama thought of Hinata naked and wrinkled his nose. The thought was repulsively, and comfortingly so.

“What? Smell something bad?” Hinata asked, mouth still full.

“You.” Kageyama said. His stomach was starting to feel weird, like he was on a rollercoaster or something. Or about to a family gathering with him mom. “You stink.”

“No I don’t! If anyone stinks it’s you!”

Kageyama snorted and shoved his food in his mouth so he wouldn’t have to talk. Hinata was fine doing all the talking.

In fact, Kageyama barely had to say anything until practice when he changed into his uniform and headed into the gym.

“Did you shave you legs?” Nishinoya asked. Kageyama paused. He looked briefly around the gym but everyone except Ukai and Takeda were already here. Everyone was looking.

“Is that like some aerodynamic thing? Should I shave my legs?” Hinata asked. Tskuishima snorted, then snickered behind his hand.

“Only swimmer need to shave their legs. Looks like Kageyama is a bigger idiot than originally thought, and that’s saying something.” Tsukishima laughed and turned to Yamaguchi expectantly. Yamaguchi just shrugged.

“I don’t know. Maybe he just likes shaving his legs.” Yamaguchi didn’t look at Kageyama not directly. The atmosphere dropped again, everyone silent and still except Suga who was looking around at everyone trying to piece together what happened.

“I…” Lying wasn’t Kageyama’s strong suit but he figured he had to try. “I spilt my mom’s wax on my leg yesterday when I was looking for antiseptic so I waxed my whole leg so it wouldn’t look weird…then I had to wax the other one to match.” Kageyama looked at his feet and Tsukishima barked with laughter.

“Enough! Everyone let’s focus and get back to practice.” Daichi clapped his hands. The spell seemed to be broken and everyone started warming up. When Kageyama caught Yamaguchi’s eye Yamaguchi smiled apologetically and Kageyama nodded. The same twisted feeling had settled over him as before, the fear of discovery. He wasn’t sure what to make of it.

After practice he contemplated talking to Yamaguchi but instead just walked home with Hinata.

“Did you really spill hot wax on your leg?” Hinata asked. He didn’t sound like Nishinoya had. Hinata sounded calm, as if he was asking if Kageyama had done his homework.

“Sort of.” Kageyama sighed. “Do…you like girls right?”

“Yeah…” HInata furrowed his brow.

“But…you’d tell me if you were gay? You trust me, right?”

Hinata eyes him. “I-I guess if you asked, sure. I wouldn’t really expect you to care, you’re just always into volleyball I guess I always figure that kind of stuff isn’t something you think about? Like you’re not bothered that Yachi’s a lesbian so…”

“You know Yachi’s a lesbian?”

“You didn’t?”

“Of course I did dumbass! I just didn’t know that _you_ knew. And I don’t care, but, you could confide in me anyway, about anything. I would listen if you had a big secret or something.” Kageyama looked ahead at the street. He hoped Hinata was smiling, lighting their way in the darkness.

“I…thanks. I guess I don’t have any big secrets like that. There’s no girl I have a crush on, and I do only like girls so…but I guess there’s one thing that’s kind of weird maybe. Or maybe it’s not weird you know, but guys are always exaggerating so it seems weird.” Hinata clucked his tongue and tapped his chin with his finger. “I don’t think I get horny nearly as often as other guys claim to, and some of them act like they need to masturbate daily? That’s weird right? I feel like I’m the normal one…”

Kageyama paled. This was not a conversation he wanted to have. Thinking about sex things was not…no….he just wanted to be anywhere but here.

“Heh, I guess they probably don’t talk about that stuff with you,” Hinata said. Kageyama didn’t mention it was because he didn’t have any male friends not on the volleyball team, and even then they didn’t have a lot to talk about.

“What about _you_ Kageyama? You know you can trust me with your secrets right?”

“I…” Kageyama frowned. “I’m not good with people.” Hinata snorted and then, seeing Kageyama’s expression stopped. Kagaeyama turned away from him. Why did he think this was a conversation he could have? Sure, Hinata wasn’t mean or malicious but Kageyama was still the weird one. That wasn’t going to change.

“I don’t think you’re that bad once you get going. Just bad with introductions maybe.” Hinata nudged him with his elbow.

“Would you—would you ever date a trans girl?”

Hinata shrugged. “As long as she knew volleyball came first. It doesn’t bother me. What about you? Would you date a trans girl?”

“I—I don’t know that I want to date anyone right now.“ Kageyama said. “She’d probably dump me.”

“And that’s if you actually got someone to go out with you.” Hinata smirked. He nudged Kageyama again, making it clear he was joking. Kageyama wanted to smile, to wrap an arm around Hinata’s shoulders and walk side by side, even just as friends. Instead he pushed Hinata away from him.

“As if you could get a trans girl to go out with you! She’d probably be tall, way to tall for _you_.” Kageyama snorted. “Besides, you’re so loud, no one would want to go out with you anyway. Even Oikawa got dumped because he put volleyball first and Oikawa’s a lot hotter than you.”

“You take that back!” Hinata leaped in front of Kageyama and pointed at him. Kageyama only raised an eyebrow. “Okay, you might have a point about the last one, but the first points were complete crap!”

“The only girl short enough to date you is Yachi, and she’s a lesbian!”

“That’s not true! Michimiya from the girls’ volleyball teach is shorter than me.”

“And yet, she, for some reason, chose not to date you.” After a year of practice Kageyama was an expert at not smiling. Hinata opened his mouth to say something and then closed it.

“Well lots of girls could date you and they don’t.”

“That’s because I don’t want to date anyone right now. But I _could_ you know. If I wanted.” Kageyama kept walking forward, pretending to ignore Hinata. Hinata scampered up behind him.

“Whatever you say Bakayama, you’re the idiot that accidently spilt wax on himself.”

“I didn’t.” Kageyama said suddenly. The cross roads where they usually parted was coming up. “I did it on purpose.”

Hinata stopped talking. He wasn’t in a fighting stance anymore. Kageyama looked at him. It was pointless to confess his unsure feelings if Hinata only liked girls anyway. Maybe one day, he’d tell HInata, when Kageyama had moved on. But know, for now he was going to hold on to what he had with Hinata whatever it was and not think about skirts or fluttering hearts or _Not necessarily_

That night in Kageyama’s dream she was captain of the Japan’s women team. They were playing someone else and Natsu was in the stands, cheering her on. Kageyama was a role model. Her long hair, was tied with a red ribbon that kept coming loose, kept knocking strands of hair into her vision. Kageyama tried to see clearly, tried to brush them away. She tossed the ball to a younger ball, but it was too fast.

“She doesn’t know how to adjust to others,” the mumbled to someone. Kageyama stood watching.

“She’s not captain material. She doesn’t have what it takes to lead.”

Kageyama kept trying, kept tossing and spiking and doing everything she could but it was always wrong. Her tosses kept missing, were too high, not high enough. She didn’t know anything about her teammates, she didn’t know what they wanted and when she tried to ask her throat closed up and she couldn’t get the words out.

When Kageyama turned to Natsu in the stand she saw Natsu frowning, shaking her head. Kageyama wasn’t a leader. Kageyama was a disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any feedback questions you can always ask here or on my tumblr www.stories-n-things.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY! In all honestly I lost where I was going with this. I have too many things to do so I'm not going to go back and change things form the beginning or spend a lot of time pouring over editing something I might not even finish BUT if you want to see the end, I just need you to identify   
> a) the promises I made to you as a reader, ie what things you need to be resolved ex. "This fic is about Kageyama and LGBT issues, so Kageyama has to figure out their gender identity!" or "this fic is about Kageyama coaching Natsu so he has to coach her and they win the match!" and also things you want to be resolved but don't need to be like the KageHina romance or Kageyama and Yamaguchi's friendship or maybe you think Natsu playing Oikawa'a nephew is this   
> b) What you would guess the ending to be. Not just what you want but if where you would predict this is going based on it's progression so far   
> c) how much longer you think this fic could be ie, do you think I'm already close enough to end it or am I still in the set-up/beginning 
> 
> If I get enough feedback and it seems feasible I'll make an effort to finish it, but if not it could be more than a year before I have the free time to do anything with this and by then I might not care enough about Haikyuu!!

On Wednesday Kageyama went shopping with Yamaguchi. At first he’d just asked to hang out, but Yamaguchi seemed to expect that meant doing something together, some activity. Kageyama couldn’t pretend he needed pants again, but he did need some new pens.

Yachi had agreed to help him with his studies and this time Kageyama wanted to be prepared.  Even if he didn’t like the material, he had to learn good study habits, so that, when he did like the subject matter, he’d know how to learn it.

Kageyama hadn’t said much so far, but Yamaguchi was keen to fill the silence. At first Kageyama had expected Yamaguchi just to talk about Tsukishima non-stop, but was surprised to hear him talk about movies and books instead.

“The pace was too fast, twenty chapters for a three day race and then two for the YEAR between that and the next,” Yamaguchi shook his head as Kageyama headed to the stationary shop. “It was really disappointing.”

“I…yes.” Kageyama nodded as he stepped inside. There were a lot of things in here. He tried to go over what Yachi had suggested last time. Different coloured pens, a highlighter, sticky notes…probably also a ruler?

“Do…you read?” Yamaguchi stuck his hand in his pockets and Kageyama nodded and headed to the pens section.

“I read a lot about volleyball.”

“I meant fiction…”

“I read the biographies of volleyball players…” Kageyama started at the selection of pens. What colours were nice? Red, light blue? Green? He’d need black or blue for normal writing. “I also read a lot of robot stories when I was younger. Lately I haven’t.” Kageyama selected a set of bright gel pens. Green, pink, blue and purple. He also picked up a refillable red pen and a glittery blue one with tiny cows printed on the side of the shaft.

“Robots? I could…recommend some books, there’s some English ones I used to like _I_ , _Robot_ , _Robogensis_ ,  _gensis_ , they have translations of those, in terms of Japanese my top five are…” Kageyama made a note of one of them. He then looked walked over to the sticky notes aisle. He picked the ones the same colour as his favourite brand of milk boxes. Pale blue and pale yellow.

“Those are very bright colours…” Yamaguchi said. Kageyama nodded. He went to pay for them and tried not to stare directly at the cashier.

“Buying these for your girlfriend?” the cashier asked, holding up the pens. Kageyama furrowed his brow.

“Should I be?”

“I—no I’m sure she’d be fine without pens. If you have a girlfriend. I mean she probably has her own pens.” The cashier looked nervous and Kageyama frowned. She just handed him the bag without a word and Kageyama followed Yamaguchi to the book store.

“Some of the colours of pens you bought are generally associated with girls more than guys.” Yamaguchi said. “What’s why the cashier asked you about a girlfriend.”

Oh. Kageyama bit his lip. “I don’t understand those things. If I was a girl I don’t think I’d like colours differently.”

“It’s not that, it’s just their cute right? Guys always want to seem strong, so that means hating cute things.” Yamahuchi rolled his eyes.

“I like cute things. Cats are cute.” Kageyama paused. “Aren’t people supposed to like cute girls?”

“I-I don’t know. I mean if I was a girl I don’t think I’d be very different but who knows? Maybe I’d wear lots of makeup.”

Kageyama considered it. “I probably wouldn’t. It’s very complicated. Maybe lipstick? I’d dress exactly the same as I do now.” Kageyama looked down at his sleeveless shirt that said _Setters do it best_. “Maybe a skirt.” He flexed his arm a little and looked at his muscles. “But I don’t think I’d like those feathery pens, they'd be hard to write with. Or heels. ” Kageyama wrinkled his nose.

Yamaguchi was looking at him. He was staring at Kageyama like he was trying to figure something out and Kageyama didn’t like it.

“Wouldn’t a skirt be hard to play volleyball in?” On some level Kageyama knew Yamaguchi was probably joking.

“No. You’d have all the room to move your legs. And I’d have to have long hair. Mid length hair and bangs would be hard to put up.”

Yamaguchi touched his own hair. “Yeah, I guess if I was a girl, yeah, probably longer hair. Hmm…I don’t think I’d wear skirts…or I don’t know what I’d be like, I can’t imagine it.”

Kageyama knew exactly was it would be like. Same shirts he always wear, light blue skirt that was knee length, a ribbon to tie up his hair. His hair-her hair would be cut asymmetrically at end so it tapered forward. Shoes would be the same and she’d work out just as much. She’d have massive arms ready to punch someone or spike a ball and she’d have small to normal sized boobs, large enough to be noticeable but not too large that they interfered with volleyball.

“Was there a specific book you had in mind?” Kageyama asked. He snapped himself out of the day dream as they entered the bookstore. Yamaguchi just shook his head.

“Actually I just wanted to look around. Tsukki says I take forever so he usually doesn’t like going with me.” Yamaguchi shrugged. “I can show you the books I was talking about earlier and you can look at them if you get bored.”

Yamaguchi sped off in one direction and Kageyama followed. The books did turn out to be interesting and though Kageyama wasn’t sure he’d have time to read them he bought one anyway. Yamaguchi kept talking and talking, gesturing animatedly and Kageyama supposed he had done something right.

#

 

Noriko did turn out to have a lot to say about women’s sports. She went on and on about it, without telling Kageyama what she needed from him. They were in her room as she sorted out various outfits. She asked Kageyama to hold them up. Norkio even brought out her wig and make-up set. As an aspiring make-up artist and costume design enthusiast, planning was very important to her.

“Anyway, remember to get rid of the fear of failure. I know you don’t always remember everything, but that’s important.” Noriko held up a black tank and little blue skirt in front of her. Kageyama was holding  a long yellow cardigan and long yellow skirt. “I think this one is too much skin, but that one makes me look like an old lady.” Noriko bit her lip.

“What favour do you want from me exactly?”

“Remember when I used to dress cousin Toshio in the outfits I was considering wearing? God he hated it but at the same time and it was hilarious.” Norkio smiled. Kageyama looked down at the skirt. “I still do that to my boyfriend sometimes, Ritsu. He hated it at first but now I think he just finds it boring.” Noriko smiled at Kageyama. Her smile was a lot like a baseball bat. Powerful and swinging. Kageyama said nothing. “Anyway, the favor is…I’m going over to Ritsu’s tonight and I’ll probably be late but my dad won’t allow it. You’re my cover story for when I sneak out.” Noriko grinned.

She had listened to him explain about Natsu and the gym problems and had nodded and grinned through all of them. Kageyama had long ago given up reading his cousin, mostly because he knew no one else could either.

“Okay.” Kageyama shrugged.

“I’m going to go try these on,” Norkio indicated the clothes in her hand. “When I get out, just hold these up like how it would look on a person.” Noriko lifted the hangers, placing them against Kageyama. “Just…” Noriko swapped the tops and left. Kageyama looked at the yellow skirt and changed into without really thinking. Noriko was tall, though not as tall as him, but with her hips they should be the same size. The skirt seemed to fit well and Kageyama even put on the shirt, staring at himself in the mirror.

His eyes started to sting and something heavy settled into the pit of his stomach. When his cousin came back he heard her gasp.

“Just…” Norkio hummed under breath and bustled but Kageyama didn’t look. He looked at himself, watching the tears form in his eyes. Why was he sad?

For a moment he was blocked from seeing himself and then his vision cleared saw that Noriko had placed a wig on him. Long hair down to his chest, slight curled with side bangs.

“If you’re going to be an appropriate model you need to have the hair and…” Noriko tugged at Kageyama’s arms, a bra in one hand.

Wordless he let her fix him up. He stopped crying and continued to stare into the mirror.  He almost looked dressed. He flexed.

“Really? You’re flexing?” Norkio sighed. “Hey…” Kageyama was worried she was going to ask question. Instead, she stepped back. “How do I look?”

“Cute?”

“Close enough!” Noriko laughed. “I just have to do my hair and makeup.” She paused for a moment. “Do you want…I mean can I practice on you? If that’s okay?” She let the question hang there and Kageyama knew something was going on, but he was grateful she didn’t say anything. Grateful he could pretend to be ignorant as things started to form in his mind.

Kageyama shrugged and Noriko plopped him down on the bed as she sat in front of him.

“Don’t worry I’ll make you look great, you just have to stand still.”

And Kageyama did stand still. Kageyama stood completely still until Noriko hopped off the bed and let Kageyama look at himself in the mirror.

He looked like a girl. He looked perfect.

It was a strange feeling, to know that and Kageyama tried to analyze it as Noriko started doing her own makeup.

“You’re not as bad as you think.” Noriko said. “At coaching I mean. If you get feedback from people and stuff, you’ll be fine. You’re awkward and stuff, but once people get to know you, you’re okay.” She smiled and Kageyama didn’t know what to do. He sat on the bed, and then lied down as Noriko made her final preparations and then snuck out the window.

Right now, this was the kind of thing that might lead to Big Relegations and Deep Thought and Kageyama was probably not equipped to handle either of those.

Kageyama fell asleep in the makeup and wig and when he woke up, he hadn’t sorted anything out.

Even when he went to school he wasn’t certain of anything. Morning practice was fine at lunch Yachi and Fukui taught him how to plan hand games, since Hinata ended up sick with the flue.

“I used to play this all the time as a kid. Teach it to Natsu, she’ll love it!” Yachi had beamed and even Fukui smiled. Her smile was like a snake, only temperature, or context, would tell if it was warm.

It occurred to Kageyama half way through afternoon practice. He’s wondered why Yachi was concerned Kiyoko would be misgendered, he’d wondered about a lot of their conversations but it occurred to him that Kiyoko might be a trans girl. And if she was, that’s who Kageyama needed to talk to.


End file.
